How to Stop Dating the Wrong People

I love celebrating collaborations with colleagues and I’ve had the pleasure to partner with Peter Kowalke, Founder of Kowalke Relationship Coaching, as a Guest Expert in "The Joy Love Club".  The topic of this our interview series focused on "Getting Yourself Ready For Successful Dating". The process of preparing yourself for successful dating involves (1) gaining clarity on the type of ideal partner you would like to attract, (2) clearing out the blocks and baggage that keep you stuck and stop habitually attracting the wrong kind of man or woman, and (3) embracing a new positive outlook on finding love simply by shifting your mindset, practicing forgiveness, and loving more while fearing less.  

One of the most popular videos in this series was about how you can break the patterns of attracting the wrong people when you give yourself permission to gain clarity about what you desire as well as take a deeper look at any patterns that seem to be repeating in your dating life.

If you find yourself stuck attracting the wrong kind of man/woman each time, it is worth taking a few minutes to put pen to paper to better define the type of person you deeply desire to attract and date, rather than just being open to dating anyone who catches your eye but isn't really intriguing, interesting, or even a good fit. List out the characteristics, traits, values, beliefs, common interests, and any non-negotiable terms that would be deal breakers. You can, of course, list some physical traits but I encourage you to think about how incredibly fulfilling a relationship would be with a partner who shared some of the same interests, values, beliefs, desires to have or not to have children, and how this relationship enhances and fulfills you, not only on a physical level but on an emotional level as well. 

As a courtship expert and global love mentor working with single men and women, there are some very practical steps, strategies, and formulas I can offer to my clients to help them attract better matches online, communicate in a more clear and concise way, broaden their social network, and implement traditional courtship principles as a way of showing respect and creating a strong foundation for an lasting relationship. This is the easy part and the one everyone turns to first. It's human nature. I know the importance and necessity of creating an impressive online profile and presence and let's face it, it's necessary if you want to be seen for who you are by standing out among the chaos of online dating. I help my clients with these very practical steps but to really attract an ideal partner, the deep inner work is about having a dating mindset for success knowing and believing you have the ability to find the love and create the relationship you deeply desire. 

For instance, opening yourself up to sign up for a online dating site is not the equivalent of opening yourself up to love again. Why? Let me explain. Because opening yourself up to love again is a declaration that you are ready for a relationship which will require you to trust again, be willing to forgive, embrace transparency and vulnerability, and live your authentic truth about your feelings, desires, and dreams. 

Sure, we could put a bandage on the wound and write a stellar online profile BUT that would not be the same as forgiving an ex, being open to attract a lasting love into your life, trusting someone new, believing you are totally worthy of the amazing partner you have attracted, or allowing yourself to be authentic and vulnerable. 

When I work with clients, I hold the space for them to reach their relationship goals by guiding them to open themselves up to the inner mindset work together so we create the foundation necessary within the client for relationship success. This seems simple enough yet our inner beliefs can show up in relationships in ways that we would have never anticipated. Many singles share feelings of fear based on past experiences, including fears of being abandoned, being heartbroken, and being betrayed. In addition, singles often share negative beliefs that they have adopted about themselves, including whether attractive enough, whether successful enough, how other's perceive them, whether they feel worthy of love, whether they can handle a relationship, whether they have enough money, etc. and the list could go on and on for days. 

What beliefs are you holding on to that could be getting in your way and keeping you single? A successful dating mindset starts with giving yourself permission to get really clear on what you desire, the kind of relationship you want to create, and the woman or man you become to attract your forever love. If you desire to take a deeper look at what’s getting in the way, I encourage you to watch the short video above. If you know you’re ready to find your forever love, I would love to connect with you.Book your private call below.

XOXO, Laura Lee Wood- Dating and Courtship Expert, Global Love Mentor, and Founder of “Nashville Wingwoman”