Why Courtship Actually Matters

I'll never forget the first online dating profile I created after my divorce at the age of 33. I hadn't dated since I was 19 years old and the idea of online dating was as foreign to me as speaking another language. I distinctly recall the excitement of matching, chatting, and having first dates. For me, online dating was a great way to meet single men outside of my social and career circles. 

But, after six months of meeting dozens of single men, I grew tired of having dates without any real possibility of my connections turning into actual committed relationships. I absolutely despised the so-called modern rules of dating and the casualness of it all left me feeling empty and even more alone. I felt like I was on a roller coaster of wild emotions which triggered my insecurities to rise to the surface.

To make matters worse, this draining energy and lack of confidence that I could attract a committed relationship could be perceived by the way I interacted with my dates. Looking back, it's clear to me now that I was pushing great men away without even knowing it. When I gave myself permission to ask for courtship and a committed relationship, dating became so much more pleasurable in every way. 

Here's the lesson I learned... Your energy will either attract a remarkable man or push him away. And, how you show up in your online dating profile is where you'll get the one and only chance for a first impression with single men you otherwise wouldn't meet in your daily life.

When I realized that my writing in my online dating profile was reflecting my lack of confidence, I made bold changes to ensure it was a better representation of who I was in both words and photos. When I owned my desires to experience courtship, I instantly began attracting men who were also interested in creating a long-term relationships and who understood the quality of dating life I desired to create for myself and share with someone special. 

When I allowed myself to share my desire for a man to plan a date over casual , last-minute date plans and my desire for a true partnership, I made myself available to attract exactly this kind of man. The kind of man who values an educated, brilliant, beautiful woman who has also created her own successful career. By getting real about what I desired, I allowed myself to surrender more to love and open my heart up to being loved again. I gave myself permission to share my desires even if it meant feeling vulnerable. Why? Because, I knew I was deserving and worthy of remarkable love and I made it my mission to actually date like it! 

Laura Wood