The Journey of a Soul-Broken Attorney
My Story From Soul-Broken Attorney to Coaching Smart, Sexy, Successful Singles Looking for Love That Actually Lasts, Like the Forever-Kind of Love
The days of prestige, pride, and power... and, a life of great influence that just wasn't enough
Like most days, I arrived at the courthouse an hour before the courtroom doors were scheduled to open to the public. I swiped my key and pushed open the heavy wooden door entering into a large, dark room filled with row after row of empty seats, which resembled the sanctuary of an old country church. I could hear the echo of the prisoners behind the heavy metal door leading to the jail. As always, the courtroom was freezing cold. Not just in temperature but as in the frigid nature of the work we did day after day.
Based on the size of the files stacked high on my table, I knew it was going to be a long day. As I began reviewing my files, I heard the clanking of the bailiff's keys as he unlocked the large double doors. I buttoned up my jacket and tugged on my suit pants to prepare myself as hundreds of people began to pile into the courtroom.
The chaos of my day had officially begun. The defense attorneys rushed to my table to negotiate for offers that would keep their clients out of jail. "Please consider my client's history. He's never been in trouble before." And, so forth all morning long. "I've heard it all before" ran through my head hundreds of times every morning as these negotiations continued, sometimes for way too long. There were days when reaching a resolution was impossible. "Let's just take our chances with the Judge and see what happens" was my last resort.
This particular docket had more than the usual number of special hearings scheduled because of a local bust that had landed a number of repeat offenders locked up on high bonds. I announced the defendant's name and charges on the record before each hearing began. My voice echoed in the microphone and around the large courtroom. "I call Jeremy to the stand first, Judge" I announced. Next, I called the first responding officer to the stand and then the eye witness. I could see the eye witness was feeling nervous and getting emotional. "Susie, just look at me when I ask the question. Okay?". Susie sniffled and shook her head. "Now Susie, if this gets too emotional, just let me know and we can take a break, okay?. Susie nodded. Unconvinced, I walked up to the witness box and handed her a tissue. Her testimony was essential to making my case so I made sure she focused on my voice as I asked questions.
After a heated debate between myself and the defense attorney, the judge ruled in favor of my arguments. It may have felt like a small victory but I knew the streets were safer without the men who sat at the defendant's table. At least for now, they were locked up. I sat down as the inmates exited back through the heavy metal door into the jail. I could hear their chains and shackles banging against the concrete floor. I could hear them mumbling and the looks they gave as they walked back through the door back to their cells.
When the door slammed shut, I felt a sense of relief. The adrenaline high was coming down and I felt like I had hit the wall of exhaustion. Six plus hours of constant negotiating, prepping witnesses, preparing cops for their testimony, and presenting cases one by one to the judge left me feeling completely wiped out. I welcomed the praise from the cops and my colleagues.
At that time in my life, the courtroom was the one place where I felt that I made a real impact and had true influence in the safety of my community.
I had worked 17 years to get to this point in my career and was proud of what I had accomplished in my life.
But, it wasn't enough.
How one soul-shattering moment rocked the career I had spent 17 years creating
I wrapped up my last files for the day and headed to pick up my son from his elementary school. This day was different than most because I was able to pick him up as soon as school finished rather than him having to spend three hours in an after-school program, which my child had always known as the norm. A standard I had, in fact, created.
As I entered the hallway, children began to rush out of the classrooms and my first grader came running toward me. He had a red sheet of paper in his hand. "Mommy, I am so glad you came early." His sweet face beamed with a giant smile. "Oh, sweetheart, me too" I replied.
I had no idea that the following moments would be some of the most painful and awakening of my life.
My son's teacher leaned out of her green classroom door and said that when she passed out the holiday party forms that my son said "my mom won't be here for the party but she can send something". The teacher stepped out of the classroom after the last first-grader left and walked over to me. She said "I'll put you down to bring decorations". I nodded in agreement, feeling embarrassed that this was the best I could do. "Thank you" I replied. "I'll send the decorations in tomorrow" I said as I held back the tears.
What felt like a simple conversation changed the trajectory of my entire life from that day onward.
As I stood in the hallway with my son's arms wrapped tightly around my leg, I felt the tears begin to fill my eyes.
It hit me "he's right" I thought. I couldn't be there.
Another missed party for a day in court.
The trade-off suddenly seemed overwhelmingly unfair.
I felt a pain deep within my soul. It was crushing, almost paralyzing. A pain worse than any broken heart or even the ending of my marriage. It was a sense of my soul being broken for the sacrifices I had made for my career at the expense of missing my son's childhood.
I could feel the tears flooding my eyes as my sweet first grader began telling me the highs and lows of his day. "Deep breath", I told myself.
All I could think of was "how in the world did I get here?"
"What went wrong?"
"Was this all my fault?"
"How did I lose perspective?"
"When did my career become my top priority?"
"Was this what newly divorced life was going to be like?"...
How I took the first step of reclaiming my life
That day as I drove home, I made a vow that my career would never come before my son again. After all, he was all I had. I was a recently divorced, single mother with no family support near me. I loved my child more than life itself.
Deep within the overwhelming sadness and shame, I began to imagine a different life for my son and myself. A "new life" as he would call it.
I was determined now more than ever to create a life around love rather than power, pride and prestige. "There are no do-overs in life" I repeated to myself. I was determined that my son wasn't going to grow up feeling like he was my second priority in life. I refused to accept the standard I had unknowingly created. I wasn't going to miss his childhood and that was not up for debate.
During the months that followed, I faced the harsh reality that if I wanted to make major changes to my life that I was going to need to walk away from the career I had spent the last 17 years of my life creating. From college to law school to a decade of practicing law, all I had ever known was getting to this place in my career. My entire identity since I graduated from high school had been about becoming a successful attorney. And, I had accomplished that goal.
The days of negotiating my priorities ended that day. Making my relationship with my child the top priority was the first step in taking back my life. But, it simply wasn't enough. It wasn't worth missing my son's childhood. Nothing was.
How I made the decision to walk away from law and create a "new life"
Leaving law was no small step nor was the process an easy one. It was a much more emotional process than I had ever anticipated. The psychology of surrendering my identity to embrace a new way of living life was the beginning of my own personal journey into the power of experiencing true transformation. Within a few short months, I resigned from my position as a high-achieving attorney and began coaching newly divorced single mothers about all things relationships, dating, and loving again.
I distinctly remember the day I told my son that I had left my job. I thought he would have questions. He didn't. Instead, he asked "are we going to have a new life"? My response was "YES!". To him, all he heard was that I was going to be able to do the things I had missed over the years and finally pick him up after school instead of him staying in an after-school program. He ran toward me and embraced me with a giant hug. "Mom, I'm so excited!"
In the days that followed, I had several teachers ask if I was moving because my son had shared that "my mom and I are going to have a NEW LIFE!". I responded "Yes" we are starting a new life together but we're staying right where we are.
This was the beginning of a new journey for my life, my career, and my child. One that was way over due. One filled with endless possibility. A life filled with love, connection, and intimacy.
How I used my own life experiences & background in psychology to coach high-achieving singles on their path to find lasting love
Just as I had experienced after my divorce, the divorced women I was coaching began complaining about the casualness of the dating culture. They were frustrated and felt disrespected. They were confused by all of the mystery and the so-called modern dating rules.
These smart, sexy, soulful women felt ready for a relationship but defeated by the dating process. They described it as feeling of "being easily replaced". Like a numbers game. These incredible women struggled to understand the status of every relationship or even if it had a status. And, all of this uncertainty created even more loneliness.
For the women I worked with, a relationship felt father away than it ever had been. It was a feeling I knew very well. I saw in them what I had seen in myself... a sense of distrust and protecting their hearts from being broken again. They were exhausted by the effort and discouraged by the lack of outcome. They were loosing faith that they could find lasting love.
These women felt lost, much like I had experienced dating again after a 14-year relationship ended in divorce. I remember thinking "how could I be so successful in my career and feel like a failure at figuring out the dating game?".
And, my quest to learn how to create intimate, passionate, and deep connections in my own personal relationships became the foundation for helping my clients create their own remarkable relationships.
I began sharing about my own dating experiences and how I had created deep, passionate, and intimate connections that were fulfilling for both my heart and my soul. I shared with them how to use connection, communication, and courtship to create the quality of relationships they desired.
How I built a coaching practice helping smart, sexy, soulful singles create deep connections to build remarkable relationships
The successful, sophisticated, smart, and soulful women I worked with craved more intimacy and deeper connections that only a remarkable relationship could fulfill. So, I began teaching these incredible women how to be more assertive in asking men for an actual date that he planned in advance. I taught them ways to communicate their desires for lasting love and how to create deep connections that were built on a trusted, well-respected method of courtship. And, the result was that my clients began reporting how much more they felt respected and even adored by the incredible men they were attracting into their lives.
And the best part... By using the skills I had shared with them, these smart, sexy, soulful women stopped attracting the wrong relationships and started attracting men who valued creating a remarkable relationship as much as they did.
Within a few months of creating my relationship coaching practice, single men began requesting that I share with them how to attract incredible women into their lives. The coaching methods I had used to help women create remarkable relationships equally applied to men as well. My male clients began sharing that they were seeing almost immediate results because of they way in which they were using communication skills and the connection techniques that I had shared with them.
The best part of all was that when my clients opened their hearts up for a remarkable relationship they created exactly that in their lives. Instead of frustration about dating, my clients were sharing stories about the intimacy and deep connections they were creating and the deep fulfillment they experienced in these relationships.
This was the beginning of creating a life lived passionately and with a heart open to love deeply. This was our new life and my journey into the world of entrepreneurship.
Every client has a unique love story and my coaching programs are customized to meet a client's relationship goals. Below you will find testimonials about how coaching has impacted the lives of several of my clients and how coaching helped them find the lasting love they they were looking for. Are you ready to find lasting love? We should talk. CLICK HERE to schedule your personal Dating Style Assessment.
CLIENT LOVE & PRAISE
"In the first conversation with Laura, it was clear why I wanted to work with her... Her energy, charisma, wisdom, passion, strong guidance, gentle accountability, deeper awareness, and love for others!!! The biggest result I have experienced while coaching with Laura is PERSPECTIVE... Openness to my heart's desires has opened growth in every area of my life." Valerie
"I was skeptical about participating in relationship coaching. I didn't know if she would 'get' me and worried I would be judged for my past dating mistakes. Let me ease your concerns- working with Laura was like having a conversation with a great friend. She helped me identify barriers which have kept me from getting back out on the romantic playing field. Laura has great tips and insight to help you live your best life! I enjoyed our session so much I bought one for my best friend. After all, what is better than the gift of (finding) love?!" Kate
"Laura's insights, intuition, and knowledge was solid. I appreciated her willingness to challenge me to look at communicating with women from a different perspective. Laura challenged me to use new strategies and methods that would lead women of my stature to have an interest and to be intrigued. Within a very short window of time, I could see a major change in the quantity and high quality of women I was attracting. In fact, I have the best match and I've had in a long time, and I am hopeful she is the love of my life. I have asked her to marry me and she said YES!" Jeff
"While working with Laura, I met a remarkable man! I have never battled self-confidence issues, however, the matters of my divorce made me question so much. Because of coaching, I gained confidence and reassurance that is permanent. I had to overcome the "we are not worthy" stage and greatly relied on Laura's coaching. I am forever grateful!" K.L.
"Laura knows women. I literally poured my heart out to her during our session about everything I am looking for in my male partner. If you are a guy who is not sure what you are doing wrong when it comes to the Ladies... You need the Laura as your coach." Sarah
"Laura asks really good questions and gets me thinking in a new way so we can tackle particularly sensitive issues. Her coaching provides an interesting perspective and helps me to see different views other than mine so I can get unstuck. While working with Laura, I have had breakthroughs and discoveries about myself that I didn't realize were there. The process of moving past these issues with Laura's guidance has been extremely helpful. Her coaching has helped me immensely!" Wendy
"Laura’s coaching was instrumental in building the right presence to attract the kind of woman I was looking for. She gave me some great ideas, and took my profiles in new directions; things I never would have considered. The results were immediate, and a dramatic improvement compared to what I was doing without a Wingwoman." Nick
"While working with Laura, I discovered that I am beautifully flawed, but not broken. I discovered that I could and should find love again and live life to the fullest. With Laura's coaching, I gained so much more confidence when it comes to navigating the current dating culture. The biggest impact in working with Laura is that she genuinely wants to hear about your progress and my downfalls. She sees what most of us can't or won't and she brings light to it!" Jessica
IS YOUR HEART OPEN TO FINDING LASTING LOVE?
If you are ready to open your heart up to finding lasting love, I invite you to schedule a private call aka "The Intimacy Inventory" to discover what's stopping you from creating the relationship you desire and the next step to take to bring you closer to your relationship goals. >>> BOOK A PRIVATE CALL NOW
Sincerely, Laura Lee Wood