Make Online Dating a Success
Seven Ways to Make Online Dating a Success
Online dating can feel like a waste of time, money and energy, especially when you're not actually going on dates. But, when you choose to use online dating with the purpose of meeting the love of your life, it's essential that you have clarity of how you would answer the following seven questions.
Is there heartbreak to heal that's getting in the way of you investing in someone special again?
If you're really serious about finding forever love, you've got to get honest about whether you're ready to invest emotionally in a lasting relationship.
First, if we're being completely honest, is there heartbreak to heal that's getting in the way of you investing in your forever one? Is there a wall around your heart that nobody could climb?
As much as you may desire a new relationship, if you're heart hasn't healed from a past relationship then sustaining a new relationship will be incredibly difficult and likely very disappointing. So, instead of swiping for a replacement, I would encourage you to take a look at where you need closure and how you can set yourself free of the old baggage.
So, instead of using online dating as an "in-between" filler, maybe it's time to focus on healing your heart so you can open yourself up to the love you deeply desire.
2. Do you have clarity on who you desire to attract and what kind of relationship you desire to create?
What are the traits, values, traditions, and beliefs that are important to you in someone you could spend your life with?
The more clarity you have around the type of partner you desire to attract and the more clarity you have around the kind of relationship you desire to create, the less time you will waste investing in relationships that lack long-term compatibility.
3. Have you defined who you are as a single person (i.e. your interests, desires, hobbies, career, etc.)?
If I ask how you enjoy spending your free time, what would you say?
Often, when we are creating our profiles, we downplay our interests, hobbies, achievements, etc. because we don't want to come across as boastful. I totally get it.
You'll attract a caliber of match based on how you present yourself in your profile. If you lack confidence, it will inevitably show up in your profile and in your communication. Ultimately, it will determine whether you even make it to a first date.
So, instead of hiding your brilliance and success, share it so that it's no longer a secret you have to keep. Show up as the woman you know you are and the woman who attracts the man she deeply desires to share her life with!
4. Are you dating like you're actually looking for forever love?
Or, are you dating casually hoping that by following the modern rules of dating that eventually you'll find a committed relationship?
If you're looking for a lasting relationship and casual dating isn't your style, then adopting courtship principles is the way to create a solid foundation to build a lasting relationship. No more settling for just coffee, midnight calls, last minute cancellations, house calls, or just swinging by to meet up with a group of friends.
It's time to take a stand for having real dates! You are worthy of more than a last minute invitation. You are worthy of a date being planned in advance.
5. If you're looking for a long-term relationship (LTR), why are you hiding your desires?
Don't be afraid to say that you're looking for a long-term relationship. In fact, it should be included in your profile.
Just because casual dating seems to be the default, you don't have to hide your desires for a relationship. Don't be afraid to share what you're looking for in both a partner and in a relationship. The sooner you know what you both desire, the better you can navigate the pacing of the relationship.
6. Are you nourishing your new matches to keep the conversation alive?
The most common frustration I hear from singles is that they have plenty of matches and very little conversation. Conversations can die a quick death just sitting inside the app or they can turn into an actual meeting in person.
There's a window of time of texting before the intrigue to meet in person diminishes. Therefore, it is important to engage with new matches and keep the conversation alive until you make a plan to meet for an actual date.
If you say you're ready to find forever love, then the amount of time you spend getting to know the basics about your match and planning a real date are worth the effort. If there's no first date, then there will be no second date. And, without meeting in person to create a truly deep connection, it's nearly impossible to create a remarkable relationship.
So, really the question comes down to whether you're using online dating as a way to connect and create a relationship or whether you're using it to create pen pals. #truth
7. Are you making yourself available to meet for a first date?
The key to online dating success is to actually go on dates so you can create the foundation for a lasting relationship built on respect, trust, and commitment.
But, does it seem like your conversations keep going on for days and you're no closer to a date than you were three days ago? In this situation, I coach my clients to simply say that they are available on this date at this time and that they would love to meet in person. Being this transparent is especially powerful for women because it reduces the risk of rejection for men. When a woman makes herself available for a man to plan a date, he'll rise to the occasion to show his interest or he won't.
Did you struggle to answer these questions?
Did you find yourself doubting or lacking confidence in completely owning your desires for a lasting relationship?
You’re not alone. I fiercely,completely, and intimately understand. I know it’s hard for the truly successful to find truly successful, lasting love in today’s casual dating culture. That’s why I’ve made it my business (literally) to help successful singles like you create remarkable relationships and redefine modern romance through the timeless principles of courtship, one real date at a time BECAUSE... You can be as successful in love as you are in life. Sometimes you just need a little loving guidance to get there.
I would like to invite you to schedule "Swipe Right" session designed to help singles take a deeper look into the real reasons why online dating isn't helping them find forever love and the number one thing they can do differently today to start attracting the kind of partner they could spend their life with.
By changing the way you think about online dating, you have the power to transform the way you present yourself, your openness to finding forever, and your ability to receive the love you're looking for. The "Swipe Right" sessions are designed to help you get clarity on the single most important action step you need to implement to attract more high-quality matches.
XOXO, Lawyer-Turned-Love-Coach Laura Lee Wood